Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Who doesn't want a Parrot for Halloween?

This did not just happen, but I was reminded of it just now and it's such a strange story I feel like sharing. 

One Halloween, I was at home hanging out with my dad, since I had forgotten to actually plan and had no costume.  I was upstairs and heard a strange scrabbly sound on the roof.  I ignored it (because ghosts) and decided not to be the person who goes to investigate first and dies.  Until I heard a squawking sound.  So I walked outside, looked up...and there was a parrot on the roof of my (desert) home.  Not even a small one.  A macaw. 

I calmly walked back inside and yelled to my dad, "There's a parrot on the roof!  Get the ladder and I'll get the crackers!"  To which he responded, appropriately, "What!?"  Despite his confusion, he got the ladder and I took the crackers on the roof and approached the nervous bird.  He didn't seem to be great at flying, which is confusing, because he had made it ON THE ROOF.  He was a bit upset, which is also fair because it was Halloween and there were a lot of strange creatures wandering the neighborhood also squawking.  And because he was not on the roof of his own home.  I gave him some crackers, which calmed him down a bit. 

The thing about Macaws is...they are big, and they have powerful beaks.  This guy could take off a finger or a chunk out of my arm if he was too upset, and he didn't know me.  I used to babysit a Macaw, and I had learned how to read them a bit, and this guy was still nervous.  I figured a stranger, even a nice one who gave you crackers, picking you up and carrying you down a ladder (awkwardly) would be upsetting enough to make him bite, so I thought I'd just...sit with him until I figured out a better plan.  So we sat together watching the sun go down, and then I heard people calling out a name.  They were walking along with flashlights looking in bushes.  Assuming it wasn't some strange Halloween ritual, I yelled out to ask them if they were looking for a parrot.  They were very excited, and the parrot's real mom came up and climbed the ladder.  The bird was very happy to see her, and she was able to get him safely down the ladder.

And that is why sometimes it's worth exploring strange noises on your roof.  It may not be monsters.  It may be a very nervous bird in need of some crackers.

Friday, April 27, 2018

I Am Accidentally Creepy a LOT, guys.

I had the realization the other day that my social awkwardness when I'm feeling all floozy is just silly to behold.  Sometimes I am really disappointed that no one else sees these moments.  But I guess that I have learned that if I laugh at them, they don't seem so horrifying.

I was at the gas station the other day when I passed an old gentleman digging through the trash.  I watched to see if he was looking for food scraps, coffee scraps, or cigarette scraps.  When I saw him take a big mac wrapper out of the trash and examine it for crumbs, I got out and grabbed the (very worn and abandoned) box of pop tarts, felt around for the least squished packet, and handed it to him.  He tried to say something, and then signed "Thank you".  I felt so sad.  I can't imagine how hard it would be to find a job if you couldn't speak, and didn't have the resources to help you find a job that would accommodate that.  It kind of startled me, and so I panicked in how to respond, smiled at him in the weirdest way possible, and signed something that was probably a mix between, "Sorry", "Please," and, "Abbujabba".  Then I ran away.

The next day, I was walking passed a man and a dog, and was so overcome by the cuteness of the dog, that I went to say, "Cute dog!"  Only a demon temporarily took over my vocal chords, and what came out was "I like your dog" in the most demonic whisper I've ever heard.  Then I ran away.  Again.

I hope that poor guy doesn't have nightmares about me.  Oh, well.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

It's my blog, I'll say vagina if I want to...

A weird thing happens whenever I go to the gynecologist.  That is a sentence that should probably not exist, but there you go.  And the best part of this whole thing is that it isn't ever the SAME weird thing.  Which would be...better?  No.  It is a DIFFERENT WEIRD THING every time.  One time I went to the gynecologist and she told me that I'm bipolar.  Which was alarming, because who wants a bipolar vagina!?  Besides that, the woman was not a regular gynecologist, so I was a bit curious how she came to that conclusion without talking to me.  (Answer: I'm not actually bipolar.  Probably.)   Another time (and another gynecologist) informed me that I have a severe Vitamin B deficiency.  Also not something I thought you could tell by looking at a vagina.  (This one is possibly true and would explain why I'm tired all of the time).

Going to the gynecologist is not a pleasant experience to begin with.  Now, I get anxiety because I'm not entirely sure what weird thing is going to happen next.  Maybe it will be dementia.  Maybe my vagina will have ADD.  What does that even mean?  I don't know.

I didn't actually intend for this blogpost to be primarily about vaginas.  But accidents happen.  Even accidental vagina posts.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017


I told you I was scatterbrained.  I made it 3 posts in and then...I think I lost my password.  Probably.  In reality, I have about five blogs and can only access maybe 3 of them.  My favorite blog name is one that I can't access, and that is upsetting.  But oh well, this is a good one, also, and I like the 3 blogs that I have posted on here much more than the ones I have posted on the other blog.

A lot has happened since that last post!  The main thing (for the sake of this blog) is that I went to Singapore, Vietnam, and Cambodia.  My sister went with me, and it was our first 'sisters only' trip.  It was tiring and exhilarating and beautiful and crazy and chaotic and basically all things good.  We stayed with my cousin's family in Singapore, and they were amazing hosts!  We got breakfast every day and a pool to swim in (with the humidity there, that was a lifesaver!) and good recommendations of places to go, and really helpful travel advice.  I don't think that we would have gone to Haw Par Villa or Palua Ubin without a recommendation, and they were two of my favorite parts of Singapore!

I'm was really pleasantly surprised as a vegetarian by the vast amounts of options that I was given.  Egg fried rice, there were strange flavored "pancake rolls", amazing pastries, and egg bao...which is another pastry but it's so good it deserves to be mentioned twice.  Oh!  And the Vietnamese coffee is the only coffee I want to drink for the rest of my days!

In Singapore, we went to Little India, Arab Street, Chinatown, Gardens by the Bay, and Marina Bay Sands.  They were all really different and each was charming and unique.  I loved it.  Gardens by the Bay was a lot more than what I expected, and Marina Bay Sands is worth seeing simply for the shock value of how EXPENSIVE that mall is!  (Good food court, though!  EGG BAO!)

We took bumboats out to Palua Ubin, which is a little island.  You rent bikes (test ride them first.  We did NOT do this...) and you ride around trails all over the island.  I made the mistake of trying to see EVERYTHING and thinking it would be possible simply because it is an island.  It's not.  And I accidentally got us on a free-riding mountain bike path.  It was a bit scary and also hilarious, as my sister's bike wouldn't go above a certain speed without doing this weird sort of 'catch' with the chain, and my bike had a bike seat designed for someone with no feeling in their lower regions.

Palua Ubin made me feel like I was (practically) alone on a jungle island.  We had rain ponchos on, and that turned out really good because there was a downpour.  We rode through the rain and saw monkeys, wild boars, beautiful views, and not a lot of people.  It also helped keep the mosquitoes away.

We went from Singapore by plane to Vietnam.  We started in Hanoi, where we stayed at the adorable Nexy hostel.  We booked a tour of Ha Long Bay through the hostel, and then spent a night wandering.  (Actually, we went to dinner, then my sister didn't feel well so she took a nap at the hostel while I went wandering and found myself some gelato).  Everything in Vietnam is very low priced, which makes it easy to go a little souvenir crazy.  I think I bought 10 pairs of shorts and pants.  For myself.  I found handmade sketchbooks with the most clever pictures on the front, and only paid a dollar for something that would be 8-10 in the states!  Traffic in Hanoi was ridiculously crazy.  It could be interesting getting across streets.  We did our day trip to Ha Long Bay, where we got to see beautiful limestone islands and kayaked through caves and climbed into other caves.  The people we were with were hilarious and fun, and the food was great!  They even made special vegetarian food for me!  The last day in Hanoi, my sister and I went to the Women's Museum, the War Museum, and the Hoa Lo prison.  They were really fascinating and I felt like it was three very different perspectives, so that was good.  My favorite part was in the War museum, where they had an exhibit about the Vietnam War.  It was so interesting to see the other side of that, and to see the amount of opposition there was to what the US was doing involved.

We took the night train from Hanoi to Hoi An.  This has become one of my top 5 favorite cities.  It was MAGICAL.  It is also known as lantern city because they make lanterns there, so at night everything is lit by colorful lanterns everywhere.  You can take a little riverboat out and make a wish while you let a lantern go in the water.  There is a night market and we bought a lot of lanterns.  Which weren't easy to get on the plane, but worth the trouble!  We stayed at the Banana Garden Villa, which was beautiful with a pool, amazing breakfast, and bikes to borrow for free!  We took the bikes to Cam Nam Island, which was fun and beautiful to get lost on, and we went to the beach the next day, where I got incredibly sunburned because I wouldn't stop playing with jellyfish.  But really, they're so cute!!

Finally, we took a flight to Siem Reap, Cambodia.  We stayed in the Pool Party Hostel.  The best part of this hostel was the little restaurant.  Such great food and then you could chill in the pool (or by the pool!)  We booked a tour of Angkor Wat by bikes.  They picked us up at about 5:30 am because they said the best time to get pictures of Angkor Wat is sunrise.  They brought us Blue Pumpkin pastries and we sat on the steps and took about a thousand photos.  Then we wandered the ruins all day by bike, had a lunch, and my sister and I were whisked away from the rest of the group to go zip lining across the jungle!  It was a blast, and I was really proud of my (terrified) scared of heights little sister!  She was a champ!  The jungle tour was phenomenal.

We got back to Singapore, spent a day and a half wandering to our final temples and Maxwell Street food court and then got home to the States exhausted and happy.  It was a favorite trip for me.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Book Review: Ready Player One

     I just finished the book Ready Player One by Ernest Cline.  I bought it awhile ago and kept putting off reading it because even though I found it on several book lists, the description on the back of the book didn't catch my attention all that much.  I kept having other books come up that sounded more interesting.  So I finally got to reading it several months after I bought it and thank goodness I did.  This book is so much fun!  The characters are relatable and interesting, even the side characters.  And the world in which the book takes place (the real world, for this moment), is a scary picture of what society could become.  But the book doesn't focus on this in a way that makes it overbearing or preachy.  It just sets up the world and then creates the virtual world inside it, which is where the majority of the book takes place.
     I was nervous that the setting of the virtual world would make me feel left out (I know or care very little about computer games, programming, etc.) or make the characters feel distant or removed, but Cline managed to bring the characters to life in both worlds and really make the world feel real.  The danger he puts the characters in had me turning to the last page, real or virtual.
     The best part of this book, hands down, however, were the references.  Eighties culture galore!  It was fun to read about music and movies that I have enjoyed, and learn about new music and movies and facts that I want to check into more.
     I will admit it took me a minute to get into, and there were some parts that made me impatient to get to the main story again, but I would gladly read this book again.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015


I just went to the movie 'Trumbo', and I have to say, it was an awesome movie.  It's been interesting to me lately that I have been interested in some "slower-paced" biographical movies.  I did not know I was a fan, but I saw Tom Hanks in 'Bridge of Spies' and then 'Suffragette' and now 'Trumbo'.

First, the story is solid.  It is an interesting story that has comedy, drama, a lot of heart, and definite intensity.  At one point, I was so into the movie, that I said, out loud, "GOOD!" when a character was told off.  This story is about stories, and people's right to tell them, and people's rights, in general.

The acting alone would have sold this movie to me.  Bryan Cranston is amazing, and plays the varied aspect of the character well.  I'm always a fan of Elle Fanning, and it was a fun surprise to see her in this movie.  She always seems so quiet and shy in her movies.  Helen Mirren is flawless (obviously) and makes you hate her, which is perfect and necessary.  Diane Lane plays the kind of woman I would want to be.  She is strong and brave and kind, and she is played with all of the emotions that she should have.  Alan Tudyk plays a smaller role, but one I enjoyed seeing him in (even though his accent was strange to me).  And John Goodman...always a pleasure.  He was one of the comic relief elements that this movie needed, and he played the role so incredibly well.  His portrayal of Frank King made it possibly for the seriousness of the rest of the film to really play out.

I definitely think this movie is a must if you like movies, or history for that matter.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

A Little Inspiration

I have been wanting to start a blog for awhile now.  A place to ramble on about thoughts and books and poetry and life.  All the important things, you know?  But it seemed as though it never happened.  I always put it off, I always got too busy or distracted (which you will see, is just my perma-state-of-being).  But as I was grocery shopping today (hungry, which is always a mistake), I passed a statue of a cat meditating.  People had placed quarters and other such small 'prayer' offerings on it (or maybe they did it as a joke).  But it struck me as strangely beautiful and somehow triggered this feeling that has been coming on for awhile.  I have been holding myself back.  From a lot of things, really, but my blog was one of them.  The name popped into my head and here I am.  At the beginning of my journey of getting out of my own way and maybe even joining my own forces (is this becoming too weird?)
   It boils down to this: I have been holding back for a long time.  Holding back on really trying in life, really pushing myself, and on really putting myself out there because, lets face it, I was afraid that somehow I would be found lacking.  Whereas, if I never tried because I was 'too busy', I could blame the craziness of life.  But how boring is that??  So here begins my journey of really putting myself out there in life, and really making the most of the one that I call mine.  I hope it's interesting.  I hope it is fun and exciting and exhausting and exhilarating and all those other 'ex' words.  Hopefully this is not my last post!  (Haha! I think!)   Tah for now, chums!